(no subject)

[grieftograce]

 Meredith has been forgetting things left, right and centre over the past couple months, though for the most part it’s only been Derek who’s taken note. It’s not truly alarming until they’re getting into the car for work one morning and she casually mentions that she needs to go to the place her mom is living in to sign some forms for her.

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[derekwiththegoodhair]

“I - what?” He asks, startled. He looks over at her, and she’s completely serious, which makes him even more concerned. “Meredith, your mom...your mom has been dead for a long time.”

[grieftograce]

“She’s not dead, Derek, she has Alzheimer’s. I saw her a week ago,” Meredith says, absolutely positive for a few long moments before she snaps out of it, and starts talking about a procedure she has to do that day.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“I...I’m so confused,” he says, looking at her. His heart is sinking, knowing what this is but desperate for that to be untrue. “What...when do you...what year do you think it is?”

[grieftograce]

"Why are you asking me what year it is?" Meredith says, forcing a laugh so that she doesn't have to respond in earnest.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“You just...seem a little confused,” he says gently, reaching for her hand. “It’s no big deal, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

[grieftograce]

"I'm not confused. I'm clear as day on the fact I have a patient at 9 who needs me to resect half of her bowel. I'm –– don't think I'm something I'm not, Derek," she says.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“Okay,” he says, still soft, not sure if he should push the issue, not wanting to cause a fight. “You thought your mother was still alive.”

[grieftograce]

"My mother has been dead for years," she says, and she doesn't understand, but she feels frustrated and annoyed. "Can you just focus on the road?"

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“Sorry,” he says quietly, defeated. He does just that, both hands on the steering wheel with his eyes firmly facing forward. He shouldn’t have said anything.

[grieftograce]

Meredith glances out the window and tries to remember when she would have said something about her mother, because she never talks about her mother, and she's so confused. She gets more agitated by the passing moments as they drive toward Grey-Sloan, scratching at her arms.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“Hey, are you alright?” he asks finally, sending her agitation. He only spares a quick glance her way, trying not to make things worse.

[grieftograce]

“My husband thinks I’m insane, why wouldn’t I be okay?” she asks, and she knows that he never meant it that way, but she’s still frustrated. And scared. Mostly scared.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“I don’t think you’re insane, Meredith,” he says through gritted teeth. “I was a little worried about you, that’s all.”

[grieftograce]

“You’re always worried about me. You worry about me when I misplace the keys, or mix up one of the kid’s names,” she says, looking over at him. “I’m not her, Derek. If I knew I had it, I’d tell you.”

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“I’m sorry that I care about you,” he says with more than an hint of bitterness, not bothering to mention that she is likely not going to realize she’s sick. “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m focusing on driving.”

[grieftograce]

“More like focusing on being an asshole,” Meredith says under her breath before turning her attention to what’s outside the window again, searching her mind for whatever happened to upset or scare Derek and coming up with none.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

Eventually they get to work and he parks the car, turning it off. He sits in silence, waiting for her to get out and head inside, looking at his hands on the steering wheel and trying to convince himself that he’s making it all up.

[grieftograce]

She hesitates, but she does go in, scrubbing into her surgery. Everything is going fine until she just seizes up at the final step, and her assisting surgeon has to step in and finish for her.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

He goes about his day, stressed about Meredith but pushing it to the back of his mind. He actually manages to have a productive morning, and he enters into his own surgery, finally back in the groove, and forgets all about the drive in.

[grieftograce]

Meredith has several surgeries that get pushed after her little breakdown, so she goes into the gallery to watch Derek, fighting back tears and wondering why this has to happen to her, even when she's done everything to fight it coming on.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

He kicks off with his usual beautiful day mantra, getting to work. It’s a while before he takes a break to stretch, and he looks up at sees Meredith in the gallery, which is definitely a surprise. Still, he’s not actually an asshole, so he gives her a little wink and a wave.

[grieftograce]

She returns the wave and settles back to watch, eventually joined by some interns who gossip about frivolous stuff that once upon a time seemed so important to her. When Derek does wrap up, Meredith is waiting outside, an apology on her lips.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“Hey,” he says, immediately brightening at her presence even when they got off to such a rough start. He kisses her quiet as she apologizes, his arms winding around her waist. “I thought you were busy today?”

[grieftograce]

"Um, no, I – I misread my schedule," she says, settling into his arms and burying her face against his neck. It's a terrible lie and she doesn't care.

[derekwiththegoodhair]

“Okay,” he says, not questioning her; because why would he? He strokes her hair, kissing the top of her head, hugging her tightly. “Want to grab us an on call room and I’ll get some food from the cafeteria?”